Over My Head: A Creeper Diary
by TimothyCrafter
Summary: Rian never knew much about the world over his head. He was just a normal creeper living in his underground colony and understanding the humans' land in terms of black and white - until the night of his Initiation. The night his whole life was turned upside-down.
1. My World of Hallways

Entry One

I wake up to the sound of scratching at my door.

Shaking briefly to throw off the woven coverlet that holds me down against the wooden frame of the bed, I step groggily across the room to answer the call, doing my best to avoid treading on any of the items that lay on the floor around me. Making a mental note to clear away the assorted items I see through sleep-dulled eyes, I push the door open a crack and look around, scanning the narrow hallway off of which my bedroom is built, and am about to turn around when the shout bursts from behind me, frightening me and causing my heart to give a great thump as I stumble forward.

"Kailen!" I cry indignantly as the shout crumbles into giggles of mirth. My younger brother emerges from behind me, his eyes nearly shut and their surfaces moist with tears of amusement. "That wasn't funny," I say, trying to assume a mature and adult voice to deal with Kailen, who is anything but.

"Still," he says, his voice carrying a whiny tone that he has used since he was quite young. I have always found it irritating when he uses it, but I remain calm and look patronizingly at him, my eyes gazing into his wide, dark ones.

"Why did you wake me up, anyway?" I ask.

"Well, first of all," He stifles a laugh and continues with his sentence when he's quiet again. "You're a sleepyhead..." I sigh, rolling my eyes at his childishness, as he takes up speaking again. "And tomorrow's your fifteenth. You're going to be old!" He bounces up and down on his feet as I take a step back so as not to be jumped on.

"Fifteen's not old," I tell him, though I hide a laugh in the words.

"Yes it is," he protests, clearly enjoying the argument with a suppressed smile and bright eyes. "You're going to be a grown-up tomorrow, and you know it." I let myself smile easily at him, and he grins complacently back. The next day - the sixth of December - will be my birthday, as well as the day of the initiation ceremony for those in their fifteenth year. Ever since I have been a child I have dreamed of the day my ceremony would be performed, and felt special because my birthday fell on that day as well. I still find it interesting that the two days meet. The day my life began, and the day my _life_ will begin.

"So what's it like, being old?" asks Kailen, his high-pitched voice ready to burst into peals of laughter at any given moment.

"Hungry," I give him a smile of comradeship and set off down the lighted hallway with him at my heels, looking back every so often to ensure that he is following me and not wandering off like he has taken to doing lately. We reach a flight of stairs, and though I step forward evenly to reach the door at the top that leads into a larger passageway, Kailen bounces enthusiastically up them in a way that suggests there are springs under his feet. When we reach the door, I push it open, and when we reach the end of the second hallway, I smile as the scent of the familiar meal reaches me.

The stew boils invitingly over the embers in the room's corner, the pieces of meat catching my eye as I sit down at the low table. It's not often that we have meat for our meals, though stew is quite common in our colony, and the meal appears delicious. Kailen's about to sneak a taste of it when my mother snatches the carved wooden spoon from him, placing it on the makeshift counter as he walks dejectedly back to the table, dropping himself in the seat beside me and tucking his legs under him as he leans forward, resting on the table as he waits for the meal to begin.

"What time is it?" I ask, the thought rising to the top of my mind, and she stops stirring the stew for a moment to answer.

"Late morning," she says gently, resuming the circular movement of the stirring spoon in the pot. Kailen nods energetically, turning to face me.

"Rian's a sleepyhead," he declares. "I had to go wake him up." In spite of myself, I laugh, and my mother gives a small chuckle as well before she tests the stew's consistency.

"Well, it's good that you went to wake him up," says my mother briskly, changing the direction in which she stirs the meal to spread the rich flavour throughout it. Kailen sits up straight before he speaks.

"He can't be late for his Initiation tomorrow. I never sleep in on my birthday." He glances around the dusty room, a bragging smirk dominating his expression. I smile at him in spite of it.

"I won't sleep in," I assure him. I'm far too excited for the day for such a thing to happen.

"So are you excited for your day tomorrow?" I look up from the table, the wooden surface of which I had been studying intently, my eyes gazing at the swirling patterns in the wood, and nod. Unlike the spoon she uses to keep the stew's ingredients from sinking to the bottom of the pot and the bowls she'll spoon it into when it's ready, the table's made from a type of wood that is uncommon in our colonies. Overworld wood.

Most of the wooden products we have are carved from trees we grow underground, but due to the lack of natural light we are provided with we're required to turn to different methods to grow the trees, and the wood is thin and pale, instead of anything close to the warm colour of the table I sit in front of. Every so often, one of the adults manages to pick up a few pieces of scrap wood, discarded by the ones that live above us, and bring it back to the underground colonies where it is refined, carved, and made some family's prized possession. This table is easily the most valuable object mine owns.

"I wonder what the ceremony's like," I murmur absently, more to myself than to my family, though my brother laughs and replies to the thought.

"You've been there every year, silly," he giggles. "Ever since you were little. I remember going with you when I was little. Remember the year we sat at the very front of the room?" I nod, turning to face him.

"I didn't mean going to the ceremony. I mean being there on the platform. I've seen the years before me go up in front of everyone, but I don't know what it feels like to be them." Satisfied with my explanation, I lean over and press the side of my face against the cool surface of the wood, placidly enjoying the smooth feeling. His face takes on an expression of acceptance as the half-filled bowls of stew are placed on the table, and we reach forward to take our first mouthfuls of the food. I haven't eaten since the previous night and the food tastes even better than it usually does as I swallow it greedily, almost more so than Kailen, who eats ravenously each morning as a regular event. When I finish the majority of the bowl, I push the bowl back toward the centre of the low table, but Kailen picks it up and tips the remainder into his open mouth. I turn away, grimacing, though I suppress a giggle when no one else is looking.

"It's time to go to school, Rian," chastises my mother as I lean placidly back from the wooden edge, still savouring the last traces of flavour in my mouth. I wait a couple of seconds before I rise and leave the room.

"Love you," I call affectionately back to the room behind me, and I assume she nods while I open the door and exit the dwelling into the hallway. This colony is made up of hallways.

My whole world is made up of hallways.


	2. Classes and Questions

Entry Two

I sit obediently on the cool surface of the threadbare rug in the hollowed-out area that is my classroom. The school in my colony is relatively small, the classrooms being dug-out spaces in the walls with doors separating them from a main hallway, but the scarcity of proper resources and supplies makes this necessary. At the front of the room, an older member of our society stands tall above us, as we are huddled on the rug, awaiting the beginning of his speech. The cramped classroom is quiet, save for our breaths, until he opens his mouth to speak to us.

"Welcome, class," he says, pausing for a moment to form the words he'll say next. "Excited for tomorrow, are we?" From the group of green heads he looks down on, a few murmurs of assent rise, and he smiles. "I remember my initiation day," he says, his deep voice low with nostalgia. "But I digress. I know I was going to give you a lecture as I usually do, but since tomorrow is a special day for all of you, I'm going to make an exception." From beside me, I hear a sigh of relief - Overworld Study is not a popular class among most of us. The ones who live above us - I've learned that they are called humans - live a very different life than those of our race, and we treat them as enemies. We always have.

When I was quite young, about four years old, I remember stepping timidly up to my mother and asking her what a person was, after hearing the term from someone making conversation on the street. She had scolded me for speaking of them when I couldn't understand what they think of us, and then with a gentler voice she had explained in simple terms how they despise us and how we should avoid encountering them. I had nodded, told her I understood, though it took me years to truly know how they treat us and how we treat them. It's a fact of life in my colony and in the other colonies surrounding it.

"First of all, do you have any questions about the process of initiation?" asks the teacher kindly, smiling down at us and tapping one of his feet lightly against the hardened earth floor, as he stands beyond the reach of the rug's protection. A female with a dull violet ribbon tied around her head and rather large eyes nods, and he points at her. "Reysa," he says. "What do you need to know?"

"Well," she mumbles, uncomfortable under the eyes of the other eight or so in the class. "Go ahead." The teacher - his name is Mr. Arbors - waits patiently for her request.

"What happens after we stand on the platform and recite the Reading?"

"After?" I blurt out, not trying to speak but thinking the thought so suddenly that it flies out of my mouth before I can stop it.

"Indeed, Rian, after," says Mr. Arbors. "Post-Reading, you will begin the second half of your initiation night." Second half? All I've ever seen is the first part, when the young initiates stand up on the platform before the colony and say the Reading together, which I've memorized in preparation. There's never been any mention of a second half.

"What happens during the second half?" I ask, forgetting Reysa and deciding I need the answer for myself.

"It's quite simple," says Mr. Arbors, speaking easily as he paces the front of the room. Our eyes follow him as he moves. "When you step off the platform, you'll be led into a small room off the auditorium, and then into a passageway that will take you up to the Entrances." I inhale sharply without realizing it - my teacher peers closely at me, concerned, as I breathe outward again after a pause. "Are you all right, Rian?" he asks, but I only nod.

I've never been to the Entrances. I know about as much about them as I do of the Overworld which is a painfully small amount, but from what I have heard I've ascertained that they are the only doorway to a world that sits just above mine, yet it's one I have never seen. When I was younger, I used to dream about the things that could exist up there, trees with wood like the wood from the table in our dwelling and the sunlight I've learned about in school, and imagined what it would be like to walk among them for myself. And now I'm being told that those dreams could be realized on my Initiation day.

"I - I'm okay," I assure Mr. Arbors, giving my head a little shake to clear my thoughts and realizing I didn't give him a chance to continue with the stream of information that I've been absorbing thirstily like a porous cloth in a river of clear water. "What were you saying again?"

He resumes the speech after smiling gently at me over the heads of those around where I'm crouched. "The Initiation... yes. It's just a walk, essentially, but what a walk it is!" He pauses and gives a short chuckle, as if remembering his own, but he returns to reality and begins again seamlessly, the cadence of his words reaching me sounding like music to my curious ears.

"You'll walk quietly into the town, where the humans live, and into their storehouses. All that's required of you is to take an item of food from their shelves. They've got more than enough to go around." He laughs again, but this time it's hollow as it bounces off the walls of the low-ceilinged classroom, and his eyes have lost the twinkle they had held, leaving them as dull, dark circles. His tone holds a touch of bitterness, and the silence that hangs above myself and the other students is brittle as we wait.

My classmates are patient, but I'm sure they're not filled with the same passion that covers me with a tingling sensation and forces my mouth open and the words outward. "When does the ceremony begin?"

To my surprise, this is the question that reaches my lips first, though I know I can't ask all of them in the time I have left in this class. Mr. Arbors gives a last halfhearted sigh to end his bout of unprecedented laughter and lifts his gaze to me, which is piercing and ironic and like none I've ever received from him before.

"Tomorrow night. Eight p.m."

I can only nod, speechless. I have less than forty-eight hours before I leave the colony for the first time in forever, and I don't know what to feel.


	3. To the Initiation

Entry Three

I reach upward, my breathing heavy with concentration, and give the piece of silky fabric around my neck a final tug before I look into the glassy surface that serves as a mirror in the small compartment that we use as a place to wash ourselves and correct our appearances. I used to dislike cleaning the layer of dust that settles over all of us in the colony off my forest-green skin when I was Kailen's age, but I've become too mature for this - and besides, I want to look my best for this evening. When I will stand in front of everyone I know and be pronounced an official member of the colony that is my home.

My heart races at the thought, and my stomach twists with nerves, but I chide myself for the apprehension I feel and straighten the tie once more, gazing into my own eyes in the reflective sheet of glass from the world I will soon enter. They're dark and quite large, larger than even my brother's, and I look away with the uncomfortable feeling that if I stare too long I will fall into their depths.

"Calm down," I scold, looking at my feet and trying to keep them from trembling. My two rows of two feet, the sound of which is feared in the Overworld, judging from what I've read in the textbooks we are given for school. Biting my lip, I try to keep goosebumps from rising on my skin, though I don't do a very good job of it. What if I trip on a stone lying on the ground and make enough noise with my landing to alert the villagers that live close to the routes we could take?

My heart speeds up again, but this time I don't try to slow it down. Looking back at myself one last time, I nod nervously before I turn around and head out the opening into the home's main hallway and eventually out the front door. It's only seven-thirty in the evening, but I'm afraid to arrive late and so I leave my dwelling early.

Walking down the residential passageway, with its rows of pale-wooden doors and packed dirt ground, pressed together by hundreds of footsteps, I close my eyes and listen to the echo of voices, audible even from where I stand, though the others have begun to gather in the public auditorium. If I can hear them from here, there must be many of them. I'd almost forgotten how many are concentrated in this tiny settlement named only as Colony C4 - not to mention the many other colonies - and how many of my race live underground with me.

A sea of green heads; an ocean of hisses that could easily drown me out if they all spoke. It gives me an odd feeling of insignificance, like a single clod of dirt in a vast patch of it, before I give my head a little shake and manage a watery smile hoping it will calm my raging nerves.

"Hey, Rian!" calls a higher voice, the sound familiar to me, and my false smile gives way to a real one as I recognize the source, a lovely female in my class at school. Her name is April, and her eyes shine brightly as she moves toward me from across the way - brighter than any eyes I've ever known.

"Hi, April," I say, trying to hide my anxiety, though I don't do a very good job of it.

"Are you okay?" she asks immediately, noticing the slightly pained expression on my face, concern in her voice. I nod, a bit too quickly.

"Just nervous for the Initiation. How're you?" I'd almost forgotten that she's being Initiated tonight, too.

"Fine. Why are you out so early?" She smiles and peers curiously at me. Her eyes sparkle with the light from the torches that line the walls of this passageway.

"I didn't want to be late." I shift my weight to my left side and give one of my feet a little tap against the ground to loosen up the muscles that tense with the nerves that still haven't left me. "Though it's only..." I think back to the time I had seen when I left the house, taking a moment to call back the memory. "A little after seven-thirty."

She nods nonchalantly, looking down for a second. Little strands of the dark hair that frames her head fall into her face, nearly obscuring her brilliant eyes. When she looks up again, it's at me - I'm not used to having others gaze at me, especially the females of the colonies, and I feel a slight warmth creep into my face.

"I'm nervous, too," she says finally, after a pause. "Rian..." I open my mouth to say something, but I close it at the last second because I don't know what to tell her. I'm not even sure what to tell myself.

"It'll... it'll be okay," I say after a bit of thought, more to both of us than directly to her, though she doesn't seem to notice. She gives me a small, watery smile, and I return what I hope is a reassuring expression. "Should we head down to the auditorium now?" I ask. We've stood in this silence for a few rather comfortable seconds, but I don't want to be late for the most important night of my life.

"I guess we should." We start down the path together. I kick absently at a stray pebble in our path and watch it skitter off to the side, trying to concentrate on it and the one at my side instead of the heartbeat that grows faster with every step I take toward the two great doors that are propped open with heavy stones. A hand-painted banner above them reads _Welcome Initiates!_ I gulp and walk inside, hoping the ceremony will pass by smoothly.

A few members of the colonies nearby have already entered the large room - I can hear them even before I walk through the wooden-plank doors that tower over me as I enter. They murmur among themselves, likely discussing this Initiation and the Initiations of years past. I break out in a cold sweat simply staring at the rows and rows of seats that have yet to be occupied. Colony C4 is only one of the colonies that will be attending tonight's event - the auditorium is a communal area, shared by the groups of us that live in the underground.

"Wow," says April under her breath, but I can only nod. I've been rendered speechless by the vastness of the room, as I only come here once a year to support Colony C4's initiates and occasionally, for meetings of my entire race to discuss or announce something. On those days, the auditorium is filled with us, and the air is never this quiet. Every once in a while, someone steps through the open doors, and I can hear their footsteps as they pass us by and give us a glance, noticing my fabric tie and April's intricate white hair bow. Just two of the Initiates of this year.

"We should go down there." April nods in the direction of the platform and the seats that surround it in a half-circle.

"We should," I repeat. I begin to step down the stairs that lead to the stage in the centre of the huge room - the seats are raked in a certain fashion so that those in the back can see. In the centre of the front row of seats, there are quite a few with slips of paper on them along with the programs. The slips read _Seats Reserved: New Initiates_. I lower myself into one of the seats and sigh at the relief it brings my tired legs, as I've been standing for quite a while. Better to rest them now than to have them be shaky on the platform.

April sits down in the chair to my left, closing her eyes for a second. I look over at her for a moment as her dark waves of hair form a curtain over her face. When she opens her eyes after a few moments, I snap mine back.

Trying to hide the visible blush on my face, I pick up the folded program from where it's fallen and brush the dust off of it before I begin to read.

_Welcome to Initiation of Year 104 of our proud Colonies!_

I flip the page over, shaking it slightly to dislodge a bit of dirt that had stuck to it when it floated to the floor.

_December 6th_

_Please remain in your seats and read the table of events below._

Underneath the sentence lies a chart that maps out the evening into different parts, including the speech by the general leader of the colonies, from A1 to D4, and the Reading, which I'd prepared so carefully for. The strange second half Mr. Arbors had mentioned during our Overworld Study class isn't printed. It doesn't much affect those who won't undergo it, and so isn't important enough to print on the leaf of thin paper in each seat in the vast auditorium.

As we sit quietly in our seats, more begin to pour into the room and fill up the seats. Some of them I know from around the colony, some I know from school, but most of the faces are unknown to me and fade into a green blur. A green blur that gradually takes over the tan of the wooden seats. My classmates step downward as well, seating themselves in the Initiate seats such as the ones April and I sit in. I spot my family among a new surge of Colony C4 members, my mother looking smaller than I'm used to her looking among all those others, and Kailen tagging along at her heels. He makes a face at me when I catch his eye.

The time passes quickly, though I spend most of it sitting down and trying to keep myself from breathing too shallowly. April doesn't seem too calm, either, though at least she isn't as fidgety as I am. I tap my foot against the narrow leg of the chair I rest on, hoping the ceremony will begin soon. I wonder if my mother and brother have found seats yet. I wonder if they'll be proud of me when I stand up there. I wonder if I'll do well during the obscure second half of the Initiation.

My thoughts are interrupted by a voice, tinny and rather fuzzy yet loud as it booms over the heads of the others in the auditorium.

"Welcome to Initiation of Year 104!" it cries, and suddenly a hush falls over the large audience, which had been alive with mutters and speculation just seconds ago. "104 years of our glorious system." After a bit of glancing around, I can tell that its source is the short figure that stands tall on the platform in front of a dusty black microphone. Our leader, Haelan Dearland, speaks to his people with a voice that's almost too big for his small physicality.

"Initiates," he says warmly, gesturing directly to the row I sit in, and I shift in my place as thousands of eyes turn on me. April casts an anxious glance at me, and I return it as the political leader continues.

"This is it," I tell her. She gives a small nod of assent.

"A new year, a new group. It seems like just yesterday that you were entering school to learn about this wonderful world below the Overworld's surface!" A chorus of nostalgic sighs rises from the audience from who I assume are the parents of the Initiates. "And now you're here, tall and proud fourteen and fifteen-year-olds." He gives us a gentle smile, as if he knows our anxiety and wishes to reassure us.

"To begin this year's ceremony, let us join in singing the Anthem of our settlement." He takes a step backward from the stand, a tune begins to echo through the room, and the voices of thousands of us surround me suddenly.

The song, dating back from a time before even my grandparents were born, speaks of a world that grows with itself and time, of a race that is proud of itself, of its continuous advancement. The words seem to detach themselves from the melody and envelop us with their meaning, lifted into the air by the voices of everyone around me.

As I listen, I can hear one of the voices falter and stop and a slight breeze as something moves beside me. I turn to my left for a moment and April's there, looking at me with eyes that hold nothing but sureness. "I can't believe I'm already here, in the Initiate row, at fourteen." The words are thought-provoking, and for a moment the stream of music loses my voice as well.

I turn around and look over at the large clock that adorns the wall behind us, a golden circle over the doors. I squint at it for a second, over the mass of heads and through the sound waves, and I can just barely make out the time. Eight-ten. December sixth.

Moving so that I face the front again, I stare straight ahead for a second before I lean back toward April and whisper to her, hoping the words are audible over the sound of the song as it progresses toward its climax.

"At fifteen," I say.

Happy birthday, Rian.


	4. Calling Me

Entry Four

The anthem finishes. April's still gazing at me with those puzzled eyes, but their expression isn't one of pure confusion, it's one that indicates that she understands but isn't fully grasping my words. The crowd sits back down, a mass of green heads lowering in a wave-like form, and I swallow my fear. It won't do to have it weighing me down tonight.

"Initiates!" The voice of our leader booms out over us again, slightly hoarse from singing the colonial anthem with passion. I look up, hearing the word _Initiate_, and flick them downward for a split second before I return my gaze to the platform, not moving it away this time. "We will now begin the ceremony. I will call your names in alphabetical order."

He looks down at a list he's carried up with him. On it, printed with a neat hand, are what I assume to be the names of myself and the others. "Alias, Rik!" he calls, his voice full. A male stands up in the Colony B2 section, his eyes wide and his skin paler than the rich green that is common among our kind. I guess his unsteady appearance is based off of the nerves known well by all of us initiates as the night that begins the rest of our lives, begins.

After _Alias, Rik_ steps onto the low platform and Dearland moves onto the next name, the time passes quickly, and it's almost as if I'm in a trance. I hear him speaking, hear the smattering of applause from the audience as he smiles warmly at each new Initiate, but none of it reaches me. For a few seconds my mind is quiet. Then I hear "Wynters, Rian" and it's like I've fallen into a pond full of frigid water and slivers of ice.

I stand, immobile, until April gives me a gentle push on the shoulder, smiling encouragingly as I trip slightly. I step forward tentatively - every new step takes me closer to the platform, and I move slowly because my stomach is churning with nerves suddenly and I'm afraid I'll be sick. I can feel all the eyes on me, waiting for me to approach the front of the large cavern.

Our leader moves slightly closer to the microphone and speaks."Wynters, Rian?" he repeats, the corners of his mouth curling upward slightly, giving the illusion that he's both smiling and not. I take another step, forcing myself to speed up, walking until I reach my spot on the platform. "Yaetes, April" is called next - April - and she bites her lip as she pulls up beside me and turns around to face the audience, blushing. I wonder if she feels slightly sick like I do. I wonder if she feels the strong urge to run back to the safety of the seat, yet feels compelled to stay by some deep, unknown force, like I do.

After the last name is called - a pigtailed female named _Zavia, Alecia_ - we stand as tall as we can and watch for cues. Dearland looks over his shoulder, and as his gaze sweeps over the line we wait in, he smiles again at us, trying to calm the nerves that I'm familiar with by now.

"We will now recite the Reading," he says serenely yet loud enough so that the microphone magnifies his voice to the audience, his words sounding recited themselves, like he's learned them off by heart. He probably has. "Initiates?"

I nod without realizing it, and somewhere in the green-faced mass a young male laughs. The sound reminds me of my brother. I wonder if the laugh is his. I tap my foot once against the wood to try to rid myself of some of the pent-up energy that fills me when I think of where I am and all that's led up to this moment.

Off to the side, a tinny piano sounds quietly, playing a reprise of the colonial anthem. Dearland nods. It's time. "And now, the Reading." The song continues, audible but not so loud that it drowns out his voice. "Years and years ago..." Rik Alias, the _Alias, Rik_ from the list of names, swallows and closes his eyes for a second before he continues the Reading where the phrase left off. "We lived in relative quiet, in peace." When his part is over, he takes an unashamed sigh of relief, and I almost smile.

"When they came we tried to fight." says a female with oaky brown hair, followed by a black-haired male who speaks almost too quietly. The audience leans forward to hear his words more clearly. "We decided that we were defeated for our control of the world above us, now." The words are solemn, and the urge to smile leaves me as I listen.

I've memorized these words, heard them a million times in my head and during previous Initiations, but nothing is as powerful as hearing them spoken by the group of Initiates of which I am a member. "It was a long journey to complete detachment..." The story progresses, and much like the anthem that plays behind it, it speaks of a free world and a barrier between our kind and those above us.

When I hear the boy to my left speak, I open my mouth and when my time comes I say the words loudly, so that the entire crowd can hear me. I hope my family can, too - I hope they hear me and that they're proud that I stand here with the other Initiates. "When the day comes that we are the dominant..." April takes up the chant. "Then we will truly be in peace..." "And we will have achieved all we've known...

...For the last one hundred and four years." Alecia Zavia finishes the Reading off with confidence almost as the anthem stops with one final flourish as the blond female stands proudly among the rest of us, her hair tumbling down her shoulders as Dearland's face breaks into a wide smile, one that I've seen him wearing after this ceremony for every year I've attended the Initiations.

When I was younger, I used to beg my parents to find a seat up front so I could see this process more clearly, hear every word the Initiates spoke. I used to feel like they were speaking to me when they read through the Reading, their voices seeming so much older than my own yet not old enough to sound like that of my mother.

Tonight, I stand up there with them, in the midst of all that magic of becoming one of them, one of us. I feel almost different from when I was one of the youngest ones in attendance, yet strangely alike and humbled in the presence of all the others who have made it this far. I smile with our leader Dearland because I can't wait for the second half of the Initiation, though it comes with its share of apprehension.

Dearland steps back in front of the microphone, his eyes large with joy. So far, the ceremony's been progressing well, with no schedule-stopping incidents or crowd control issues. One year, the mother of one of the females was so proud of her for reaching Initiation that she broke down in noisy tears. She was escorted out of the area, and it caused a scene that I remember to this day. I remember, too, hoping nothing would happen to interrupt my Initiation night. I wanted it to be perfect. I still do.

"That was a lovely Reading," he says easily. I wonder how he speaks to such a large group and yet manages to talk as if he's holding a conversation - though it's largely one-way - with a close friend. "This concludes the ceremony. Families of the Initiates, we suggest you head to your dwellings and eat something while you wait for your children to arrive home."

I'd never known what the Initiates did while their families stayed at home and had something of an early supper. Now I do, and it makes my heart pound because this year I won't be leaving with them. Dearland ceases his speech for a while, and the crowd begins to stand up and walk away from their seats, but once about two-thirds of them have left he steps backward from the microphone and speaks directly to us. "The second half of the Initiation will begin down there."

He gestures to a small door in the wall offside from the stage. It doesn't look very significant - if I were to scan the room for the place I thought the fateful second half would set off, I wouldn't have given it a second glance - but after all, I'm not sure what lies beyond that door, or what I will hear when I walk through it.

"It's time, Initiates." I've heard those words many times throughout this Initiation ceremony. From April and from myself, spoken in my head. But this time they carry more meaning than they ever have before.

We begin to file downward in the direction of the door he had mentioned, keeping to the straight line we were called up to stand in. We hold on to a tiny piece of the first part of our night as we move into the second. _Fitting_, I think. I almost laugh but then I realize where I am and I grimace instead.

"It's time?" April says from beside me, the sound of her voice warm in my ear. I turn toward her for a fleeting moment. In the glance that passes between us, more words are exchanged than I could ever say right now. But I say the words anyway.

"It's time," I say, nodding. She nods back at me.

The second half. It's time.


	5. Stepping In

Entry Five

We're led into a room that's smaller than I had expected it to be, only about the size of my dwelling if the rooms were melded into one open space, which I guess is pretty large when I think about it. At least, compared to what I'm used to.

There also aren't many Initiates this year, only about six or seven from each colony. I recognize a few faces, from my own class and from the line we had stood in as we faced everyone we knew and more. The thought makes me nervous, even after the moment had passed, but something tells me that the second half of the Initiation process won't be nearly as public as the first. The odd thing is that somehow, something about it seems more foreboding than reciting a few words in front of an audience, however large the audience may be.

"Initiates," says Dearland again. His voice is softer than it had sounded in the auditorium. I'm not used to hearing it without the tinny echo that the microphone gives it. "Tonight will be dangerous." His eyes aren't twinkling anymore, but I listen twice as hard because I have a feeling I'll need his words later on. "For the first time in your young lives, you will venture into a world that I'm sure you've been told about."

"The Overworld," I say. I don't mean to speak the thought aloud, but it slips out by accident, and I feel my face warm slightly as a few pairs of eyes turn on me. I bite my lip briefly as the leader stops in front of me and gives me a look that isn't stern, but is just as piercing as if it was.

"Precisely." He enunciates each syllable like the words are a vocal password that will take him through some unknown door.

"Where the humans live," spits a large male behind me. His close-cropped hair hangs limply from his head, and it flops over his forehead as he leans forward, his eyes narrowed. I know the colonies' attitude toward humans, and he must be an extreme example of someone who hates them especially. His black eyes snap as he inhales. What was his name again?

"Your task is simple." The male who had been speaking sits back down reluctantly. I wonder if Dearland even noticed his outburst. Maybe he's choosing not to mention it. "Travel to the storehouses. Bring back one item from the shelves - it can be a vegetable. It can be a loaf of bread." He closes his eyes for a moment, as if trying to call back a memory.

"It can be almost anything, as long as it's from the food storage." I nod unconsciously. The instructions are simple, as he'd told us - almost too simple. I hope everything goes as smoothly as the first half of Initiation.

_Why do we hate them?_ The thought appears out of nowhere. For a moment I gasp, afraid that I've spoken aloud, but a few heads turn in my direction with questioning looks and I know I haven't. It's been a part of our culture ever since these colonies were formed, 104 years ago. Tonight's the 104th Initiation ceremony.

I've never thought much about the manner. It's never seemed too important to me - my mind was always on other things, such as the onset of the ability to explode on request. The thought seems frightening, and it was to me when I first learned of it, but I've learned to accept that all of the grown creepers around me have this ability and I will soon have it, too. There's a system inside of us that gives us this capacity. I used to wonder why it existed, but I know now that it's a sort of last-resort type of idea. The explosion created is powerful enough to kill the creeper that initiates it, but it kills anyone else in the surrounding area, and that's why we have it.

The usual age at which it begins to work is fourteen or fifteen, which prevents most accidental explosions caused by creepers not meaning to expand and blow up. I'm not sure if I have the ability yet. I haven't been angry enough to feel the characteristic expanding in my chest and have to settle it down hastily. Another creeper has never been killed in an explosion - not yet - but several humans have, when frightened creepers have detonated themselves to prevent any discoveries of the entrance to our world from the one I still haven't entered.

Maybe that's why we hate them. Because they hate us for our self-defense.

"Rian?" I jump, a blush creeping into my face. I'm embarrassed and not used to being singled out. I nod.

"Yes?" I say, trying my best to be respectful. I'm ready to be lectured for letting my mind wander during such an important discussion, but he only looks meaningfully at me and his face breaks into a warm smile.

"Just checking you were all right," he says. "You look rather sick." Only now do I notice just how queasy I am - more sick than I'd felt while standing in front of almost the entire concentration of creepers in the area.

"I..." I pause as a shiver travels through me. "I'm okay." He nods and turns away from me to face the group as a whole.

"Know the gravity of what you're about to do, Initiates." I can still see the sparkle in his eyes, but it burns less brightly now. "It seems like a simple task - and in many ways it is." I almost don't breathe with the effort of trying to be quiet enough to hear him perfectly clearly. "But there are humans there, too. They are... dangerous." I get the feeling he could have said much more but stopped himself. When he speaks about them his voice isn't like it normally is. His usual voice is rich and warm, like thick soup flowing into a bowl, but this new tone is brittle and chilly. Though all of us hate those who inhabit the world above us like they hate us, I'm still made uncomfortable by the sound.

I'm almost grateful when he tells us briskly to stand up in the order we entered in and follow him through a door that's almost too low for the male who had burst out with hatred for the humans during Dearland's speech. I've never been the tallest, so I fit through it easily and move along with the rest of the line. I try not to shiver as I try to ignore the nervous stomach that bothers me as we step out of the intersection room.

We travel without speaking through several flights of stairs and eventually we reach a door that's wooden, time-worn and small, so that some of the bigger ones in the line have to duck to step through it. The room we enter next is darker than the last, and none of the light from the auditorium reaches us here. Unlike the first, it doesn't hold benches smothered in a layer of glossy paint, and it's difficult to see through the near-lightlessness that is only penetrated by a slim, fading sliver of light from somewhere across the room. _It feels like a place where things begin and others end._ The thought occurs to me so suddenly that I wonder where it could have come from. I have to be careful not to bump into any of the other Initiates as we stand in what we think is the centre, keeping formation, though at this point, what does it really matter?

Everything that matters now is above us. I need to forget about what's below for just a moment.

We pause hesitantly for just a moment before we step toward the opposite end of the room - I know we're all curious about what could lie there. What does? What will await us when we reach it?

"You are about to enter the Overworld," says Dearland, confirming our suspicions and circling around the group to stand in front of us. "Through the doors. They lead to tunnels, which in turn you will walk along to find entrances hidden in a forest there. The storerooms of the village closest to us are located on the edge of the settlements." He nods toward the door, inhaling as if he's about to say something, but he never does.

There are a few seconds in which no one speaks. I myself am lost for words. All I can feel is the darkness around us, and how cold the air in here is on my skin. Goosebumps crawl up my arms, and I shiver, closing my eyes. _This is it, Rian._ Why am I so nervous? This is the moment I've been waiting for - ever since my teacher told me about the second half of the Initiation and I knew I would get to go there. I wonder what it's like. I wonder how long I'll be up there.

He clears his throat. "Before you go," he says, drawing out each syllable in such a way that we lean forward impatiently to hear him better. "Be back by dawn." I nod, opening my mouth to take another breath of musty underground air. What will the air be like above me in a world I've never seen?

He gives a nod so subtle that we can barely see it in the dimness of the room, but at that moment, we know it's time to go, and my stomach is churning and I'm sweating but I make myself take a step toward the door. Another. And another. The tension is almost painful, but I can't move faster. A couple of us rush forward toward the door, but I remain in almost the same place I was.

Somewhere behind me, I hear a muffled sob, and I turn around to see April with a stricken look on her face and her hair falling into her face. Her white bow is coming loose from where it's clipped on her bangs, and I resist the urge to reach upward and straighten it. "April...?" I say, wondering what to say. "Come on... it won't be that bad... it won't..." I stumble on the sentence, realizing I'm scared too, but I know that I have to complete the task if I want to be a full member of the colony, and I want to make my family proud. I look at her more closely and realize she's shivering. "Are you... cold?" When she finally speaks, it comes out as barely a whisper.

"No. Scared."

"I'll walk through with you," I tell her, my voice trembling. She looks up at me, her eyes shiny with tears and hopeful, too.

"You'd do that?" she says with a tone that shakes as well. Impulsively, I look back at Dearland, but he doesn't seem to mind us biding our time. We're the only two in the room now.

"Of course I would," I say. I mean it.

"Ready, then?" I turn my gaze toward the door. Somewhere above us, a low rumble crescendoes then fades.

"Okay. Let's go." She lifts her head and lets her hair fall over her shoulders again, sliding back from her face. I stare at her for a few seconds, watching her look straight ahead at the door that still swings on its hinges, before we step forward and begin walking up the steeply-raked set of stairs. _Am I ready?_

I can only hope so. I can only hope we are.

_Overworld, here we come._


	6. When It Goes Wrong

Entry Six

It's a long and arduous trek up the twisting flight of stairs before we reach the wooden trapdoor at the top. Slits of light shine through the cracks between the planks - a bluish light, not the flickering yellow-orange of the candles that light our dwellings. The queasiness in my stomach has reached its peak, but I know just by looking at her that April's even more nervous. The light illuminates her pale green face and shaking figure.

"Shall we?" I'm the first to speak since our conversation in the launch room.

"Yes." She looks at the ground, then up at the trapdoor, then back at me. "I guess... we should..." She nods hastily, and I nod too. It's resolute, in a way. Like this nod will seal our immediate future. Maybe it will.

I reach up and push it open, letting the strange light pour into the tunnel and over us. I take a deep breath - the air is sharp and clear, unlike the musty air I've gotten used to breathing. Pulling myself out, I help April up once my feet have hit the ground. Once we're both past the trapdoor, I look around, letting everything around me sink in.

The ground is covered in a blanket of something soft and white, frigid around my ankles. Little flakes of it flutter down from the sky around me, and a gust of air sends them into a flurry. I watch them fly with awe. My hair blows out with the wind of the night, and I brush the fringe of dull brown out of my eyes. The trees that grow ruggedly up from the forest floor have deep-coloured bark and tufty needles that catch the specks of white as they fall. My eyes widen as I take a step - my foot sinks into the surface, but I keep walking, watching April out of the corner of my eye as I look up. The sky is a shade of black that lightens to rich blue near the horizon, and moonlight shines down over the landscape. Beautiful. It's beautiful.

"Should we go to the village?" asks April hesitantly - I can tell she doesn't want to leave this fairytale setting either. It's just so different from the world I've been living in - trapped in, even - that everything seems so new and bright. But I won't be fully Initiated until I bring back the food item from the storage rooms in the village, and that's the reason I'm here. I have to remind myself of that as I step away from the trapdoor and brush some of the cold white substance over it, turning in the direction we were told to travel in. The flow of flakes from the sky begins to thicken as we set off.

As we move, I'm almost overtaken by a childish urge to run blissfully through the gathering substance and feel the air on my face. _You're here to become an adult, not act like a child,_ I chide myself, but I still wish I could stay here a little longer, just to enjoy the experience. The wind is frigid around me, but I'm warmed by the thought of returning with the item and finally becoming one of them.

_Rian Wynters, full member of Colony C4._

We continue on.

By now, we have to struggle against the force of the blasts of air as we step eastward, our feet leaving messy tracks in the layer of white covering the ground. I can see the lights of the village ahead. They shine through the gusts of white and blue that obscure my vision. What did Dearland say again?

"The storerooms are on the edge of the village. We won't have to go far." April answers my question as if she'd read my mind without my knowledge. I wonder if she wants to explore the area for longer as well, though I don't dare to ask her.

"Just up there, then?" She nods, probably recalling our instructions. I hope we don't get lost, though privately I want to walk around the village, taking in the world I've always heard about but never seen. I've never seen this feathery-soft white precipitation before, though I've heard of rain from a few of my classmates who live in dwellings near the surface. They say they can hear the drumming on the ground above them when they try to sleep, sometimes, and they can hear the crashes of thunder as well during certain times of the year.

We step onto one of the roads, not talking anymore, keeping quiet for fear we'll be heard. If they hear us, they'll kill us. We're too young to run fast enough to get away. I wish I could stop thinking about all the dangerous possibilities, but it's hard with all those lighted windows around me. I close my eyes for a moment, calling back the childish curiosity to see if I could use it to push away the fear.

In a moment of pure recklessness, I tiptoe up to one of the windows and peer in, letting the orange light wash over me and fill me with a sense of wonder. The structure has brick walls and a floor made of wooden planks. A carved table not unlike the one in my dwelling sits near the door, with a few chairs pushed outward but not occupied. Two humans sit close to each other on a wide seat near a cobblestone furnace, their hands touching and their fingers interlocked. The scene seems comfortable - it seems safe. But I know it's not safe for me. Not in the least.

"Rian!" I hear a whisper-shriek from behind me. "What are you doing?" I gulp with shame, turning around.

"I was just... looking in."

She sighs, biting her lip. "We can't afford this. What if they see us?" She doesn't seem angry - there's more fear in her voice than anger. But I came with her to make sure she wasn't scared.

"I'm sorry." I lower my head and resume our journey through the night. She follows me, catching up with a few quick steps.

"It's okay," she says reassuringly. "Just... don't look in any more windows, all right?" I nod. It's a fair deal, though I wish I could look in more windows. I wish I could look in every window in the town, my curiosity's so strong. I fight it and keep my head down, knowing that if I fail, I won't be Initiated and all of this will have been for nothing.

We reach a low stone building with a sign that reads "Community Storage - Communal Keeping of Goods". Several footsteps surround its front - most of the others have already been here and left. I hope we're not back too late for the return to count.

"Let's go," I say, stepping forward. I give the frosty metal door a gentle push - it swings open on its hinges. Someone's been here to pick the lock, most likely another one of my classmates, a crafty male with bright eyes and a knack for quickness. Careless of him to leave it open like this, though it makes my job that much easier.

As soon as we enter the room, my mouth drops open at everything I see. There are rows and rows of doors leading into separate rooms off of a central area. A balcony circles a ten-foot drop to the floor of a lower level, which I guess houses even more doors and even more items. I scan the signs nailed to the wall above a few and quickly locate the one labeled "Communal Food Storage". The room is dim, lit only by a couple of torches, but I manage to make my way to the door with April at my side.

She reaches the door before me and pulls it open, wincing when a sickening creak echoes off the walls. It's chilled inside the room, probably to keep the food fresh, and the feel of the air isn't unlike what lies outside. Walls of wooden shelves sag with the weight of packages of meat, preserved fruit from the earlier months, and sealed bottles of drinks in many translucent colours. I dart inside and, without thinking about the consequences, take a jar of apple preserves hastily. As I'm pulling it out, I slip slightly and try to regain my balance. The stack sways unsteadily before toppling over, a few of the jars cracking against the stone floor and a loud noise spreading outward from the point of impact.

"Oh no," says April as we both freeze. I don't dare to do so much as breathe properly because if they see us, they'll kill us, and I know I can't take that risk. _Too late, too late,_ my mind sings, but I try to ignore it, even as footsteps sound from outside and I know it's right.

"I heard something... over there, in the storagehouse!" The shout reaches our ears as my heart rate speeds up. _No, no, no, please don't let them find us._ I pray too late - the door bursts open and a swirl of icy flakes enters the heated central area as the humans spread out. Looking for us.

"If you find one, kill one. They're always more frequent around this time of year." I gasp without knowing it, and the footsteps move in our direction. I look over at April, and nod toward the door.

"Go. Run." I don't speak above a barely-there whisper, but she hears me and shakes her head emphatically. I nod again, more vigorously this time.

"Then we'll run together?" She gives me a bittersweet smile.

"Okay. Together."

I close my eyes and count down from three. _Three,_ I say mentally, drawing the word out with hesitation though I know that they'll find us any moment now. The footsteps draw even closer. _Two._ We'll make it. We have to make it. _One._ Now.

We take off, our feet skidding on the concrete, and almost knock over a couple of men in simple village clothing under their scarred iron armour, dodging the swing of a sword as we pull past them and out the door.

"Don't let them get away!" screams one of them, but we don't stop running because to stop running now would mean almost-certain death.

The weather's gotten worse. I can barely see, but I run this way and that in a direction I can only hope is back to the entrance, still clutching the jar of preserves. April has a small jug of chilled fruit juice that she'd grabbed right before leaving, but it bogs her down. I wish I could tell her to put it down, but I can't for two reasons - first of all, she won't be Initiated, and second, she can't slow down to drop it. I hope she's holding up well. She must be terrified. I know I am, as my heart's beating faster than I've ever felt it.

It's not too long before I realize that I've lost her in the storm. I can still hear the shouts of hate behind me, and I know they're chasing me, but I can't see her beside me anymore. I know I can't call out to her. I can only hope she's made it back or will soon.

It's getting darker around me, and I know I'm leaving the village behind, but I don't care, I need to get away from them. If I wanted them to die, _really_ wanted them to, I could use the explosion mechanism inside of me, but I'm not even sure if mine's developed yet, and anyway I don't want to kill myself to kill them. My life depends, now, on how fast I can run through the whiteout.

Running. Through the drifts and over the patches of ice. I'm not even sure if they're still chasing me, but I keep running just in case they are. I'm filled with a sudden hope that maybe I'm close to the exit of this fairyland turned frightening, skidding over a particularly large patch of ice, and I smile briefly until -

Sliding. Falling.

If I could scream, I would, but all that comes out is a strangled squeak as I manage to grasp the edge of a cliff of rock and frigidity. I don't know how far the drop is below me, but I do know that it's far, and that I can't hold on much longer. I realize, now, that I'm crying - I can feel the tiny teardrops gathering in the corners of my eyes, and my chest heaves in and out as I dangle over the side. The preserves lie above me, embedded in the layer of ice flakes on the ground. The smooth piece of fabric I had worn to the ceremony comes loose and slips off my neck, fluttering down into the oblivion with the first tears that grow and fall. Are there any of my classmates, any creepers even, left in the Overworld to save me? Anyone left here who doesn't want to see me dead?

As if in answer, a set of feet pads up to the side that I hang onto, and I can tell by their sound that they're small ones. I close my eyes and prepare to be pushed off into my death. But to my surprise, a small, warm hand wrapped in a soft fabric touches the foot with which I grasp the side and tugs at it, trying to pull me out from where I am. Perhaps it wants to kill me in an even more painful way than falling to my death, but after a few tugs, I realize that it's trying to help me. I use my two free feet to push myself higher to help the small human with the job, and after a couple of minutes, I lie panting on the top of the cliff over the ravine.

"Are you okay?" The voice is strained and scared, and I can barely see where it comes from through the stormy air, but I can tell that it's a young boy. Maybe eleven or twelve years old - I'm not exactly sure how to tell human ages. I nod, just as scared as he is. Probably more, considering my ordeal.

"You need to run." There's a certain urgency in his voice that suggests that maybe he doesn't want to hand me over or kill me after all. "Go back home. My father and the others... they're looking for you." I open my mouth to speak, but then I close it again. "I followed them outside because I wanted to know what all the commotion was." He pulls the piece of fabric tighter around his shoulders and gives a little shiver. "Now go!"

I know he's a human. So why isn't he trying to kill me?

No matter. I need to run.

I nod again at him and turn, running westward toward the trapdoor. The boy flees as well, leaving little, neat tracks in the snow. The trapdoor can't be too far from here - at least, I believe it, because I can see the strange, deep-barked trees through the flurry. I feel my way through the cold, shivering with the touch of the wind on my face, and eventually discover the wooden door. I brush whiteness off of it with my foot before I open it, dropping inside and closing it behind me.

Running again, down the steps and through the two rooms. There's no one waiting for me, which I find odd - what if I'm too late? I look down and realize I'm still holding the jar of preserves. I must have picked it up while I was talking to that boy...

I stumble into the auditorium, where a rather large group of people is gathered. I can spot my mother and Kailen and, more frighteningly, Haelan Dearland. I wonder what he's doing here, though I have a feeling they could have been expecting the worst.

When my mother catches my eye, she gives a little gasp and rushes forward. The others follow her gaze and soon I'm swept up in them, being asked earnest questions and being shouted at.

"Let me... he looks so cold!" says my mother indignantly, pulling me away from the small crowd, but she's smiling gratefully at the fact that I've reached the underground again. Dearland is at the front of them all, looking curiously yet darkly into my eyes. As an afterthought, I slip the jar of apples into his waiting grasp, but it doesn't seem as important anymore for some unknown reason.

"Why were you out so late?" he calls as I'm tugged away from the question. I open my mouth, then close it again, like I did while the human boy warned me about his father coming after me. I wish I could answer his question. I _should_ answer his question, but something keeps my mouth shut, and anyway I'm freezing and tired and in shock from the night's experience. As my mother leads me out of the auditorium area and back to the dwelling, with Kailen following closely behind us, all I can think of is a single thought. I don't quite know where it came from, but it's clearer than anything else I can call up right now.

_He never told me his name... I never got to thank him for what he did._ But that's before I shake my head and realize he's a human, too.

As soon as we reach the small dwelling, I trudge over to the hollow area that serves as my room and fall asleep almost immediately, not thinking about what just happened, not wanting to sort it all out right now.

I fall into a blank sleep because I don't trust my dreams to be clear tonight.


End file.
